My First Sister, On Her Birthday

You gave me the very first taste of what it means to be a big sister.

You made me love in a new way.

You reminded me that I had been there before.

You have always been the yin to my yang.

From the very beginning you were pretty and perfect, clean and shiny.  I was plain and impossible, dirty and rugged.  You picked flowers and I climbed fences.  You spoke softly and I shouted for everyone to hear.

You have always been a constant reminder to me that "different" does not mean "better" or "worse."  That challenge does not mean competition and that role model does not mean only way.

You explored wth makeup and I explored with sexuality.  You chose reliable stability and I chose constant change.  You chose one love and I chose what the hell is love?

As fully grown women now in our thirties, we are picture perfect examples of stark opposites.

Just look at us:

Some might say rivals.  Others might say enemies.  Still others might say incompatible.

I say yin and yang.

You manage a full time career, owning a home, mothering two children, finding marriage balance, and maintaining a strong group of girlfriends.  You keep everything in a well organized, prioritized, well functioning machine.

I do yoga and buy organic produce; I take my kid to squish mud between her toes; I barely see my husband; my friends are scattered around the globe; my life is organized and it functions well, but it ebbs and flows, changing its contours with the seasons.  

And because you're my sister, my very first sister, and because of how much I love you, I can see why and how what you do works for you.  Your children and your husband love you.  Your friends adore you.  Your work depends on you.  Your life is yours and only yours and it has nothing to do with me and my life.

Because of you I understand how to love deeper than I ever could have without you.  We come from the exact same place and exact same circumstances and we simply chose different paths.  And your path gets just as much sunshine and rain as mine.

I don't need you to be like me in order to love you as much as I could ever love someone that shares the same blood, same genetic code as me.

It is often said that the difference between friends and family is that we get to choose our friends.

But if I could go back and choose my family.  I would choose you as my sister.  My first sister.  Every time.

You are amazing in your own right.  And I have a feeling our paths, no matter how far apart they may seem at times, will find us at the same end point.  In the meantime, I look forward to their many crossings.

Happy Birthday little sister.