Everyone is stressed out about.... something.
work.
school.
family.
relationships.
future.
politics.
politics!
politics!!!
I am not truly stressed out about anything. Except the fact that almost everyone around me is stressed out about something.
I think that what we've forgotten to do is prioritize. What really matters to me? What else? What matters a little bit less, a little less, and not at all?
My family matters most to me.
Then work. I love what I do, and where I do it.
Then friends. I have great friends, and some of them fall into that family category, okay, most of them. And some of them fall into the work category. And some into both. (I don't have a ton of friends.)
Then the world.
I want to change the world. I want to leave my mark. I want everyone to have the opportunity to not be stressed out all the time. I met with a student recently who was so overwhelmed by her work load that she could not focus even on simple questions. 8 hours of school, 6 to 8 hours of homework, 6 hours of sleep (teenagers should be getting 8 to 9), at best that leaves 4 hours, for eating, showering, family time, social time (which is incredibly important for cognitive development), family time, personal time. At worst, if she actually gets the sleep she needs and spends the max amount of time on homework that leaves..... less than two hours. What hope does she have to not have a crazy busy packed schedule life from now until she dies? And she's just a kid!
I look at my kid, animatedly wanting to know, on her hands, what 1 and 4 make, what 2 and 3 make, what 5 and 5 make. I didn't teach her to do this. She thought of it on her own. She started holding up fingers and I followed her direction, guiding her along. She's hungry for information. She's curious. Naturally. Like all other children.
This is my mission in life, wine or no wine. (But c'mon, why not include the wine?) To feed curiosity. To provide guidance. To engage with people at all levels who are open to engagement.
It is why I can't put my kid in school in the United States of America, the richest, freest country in the world. I would be directly combatting my own personal mission. I cannot plug my kid into a system built, as of this moment, public, private, or charter, to serve as a daycare center and mostly beat the joy of learning out of my kid.
I cannot watch her be pushed around by kids and adults alike, a victim to a system that aims to "toughen" people up, to mechanize them, to plug them into a workforce where many people are unhappy, underpaid, and undervalued.
I'll keep her home, I'll introduce her to circles of people who want to learn, who work for a better future, who want their children to be kind, who value kindness over academic success (what does that even mean anymore?). I'll teach her to squish her toes in mud and paint rocks, to read books about heroes, male and female, to engage in politics and society at an early age (it's never too young to start) to love deeply and be vulnerable, to laugh with her head thrown back, loud and wild, like her mama, to take deep deep pride in who she is, whoever that may be at the moment, and.....
to.....
slow.....
down.
In fact, she's teaching that lesson to me. I will teach it back to her when I have the chance. And I think I will have it.
I let her wander, let her smell the flowers, let her wade through giant puddles in sand pits after torrential rain storms. I let her take her time while she eats, and I read stories to her before nap and before bedtime easily and freely, not rushing, not shushing her questions and comments, because what a joy it would be to enjoy every single day of life.
This is what I can give my daughter, and the world. My joy in life can translate to her joy in life, and hopefully to my husband's, to the rest of my family, to my students and my friends.
Because, having a child has helped my vision clear up, it has helped me ask a crucial life question:
Why shouldn't life be one big party filled with people we love?
Really? Why shouldn't it?
If we could all just focus on being good to people, on loving everyone around us, and on surrounding ourselves with people who deeply love us back....
Then maybe we could have our party.....
With wine.
No comments:
Post a Comment