Veterans

I am wary of all oppositional expressions and phrases.  Ever since I discovered the reality of the false dichotomy I have watched and listened closely for them in articles I read and in discussions I have.

The most obvious example of this right now is the question on the debit/credit keypad at Safeway:

"Support the Veterans?"

And you can choose "Yes" or "No."

Choosing yes obviously means you will donate money to the Safeway Foundation. Choosing no obviously means you do not support the veterans.

Wait.  What?

Yes, you read that correctly.  Every time you choose no, you are in effect responding that, no, you do not support the veterans.

What if you have no extra money?

Well, if you really supported the veterans, you would manage to scrounge up a dollar, at the very least, for the men and women who have fought to protect our freedom.

Can I choose "yes," and not give money?  As in, yes, I do support the troops, but I am not going to donate money every single time I come through a Safeway checkout stand and have to pay with my debit card, or even, perhaps, at all.

Well then, once again, you are clearly lying about your support of the troops, because the only way to show this support would be to donate money.

Ultimately, I am grateful that Safeway and other companies, like Whole Foods, make the effort as major corporations to do some good in the world.  And I am aware that the guilt marketing strategy is effective; Safeway continues to surpass its set goals and outdo its previous years of charitable contributions.

What I do not like is being treated like I'm stupid, or inferior, by essentially being forced to respond that, no, I do not support the veterans, which is not the reality, nor do I think it is the reality for many people who choose not to donate on a particular day.

Aside from money, aside from celebrating a national holiday, what I choose to do primarily for any cause that I support is talk about it.  Get the information out.  Open discussions about what veterans really experience, about what our soldiers are experiencing now, what is being done for veterans who suffer from PTSD, what programs are in place for reintegration into a civilian society that certainly does not act like it is at war, much less does it have any consciousness about the bloody violence that a soldier may have experienced just last week, or the residual effects of being constantly in fear for your life.

The worst thing we can do is not talk about the sensitive subjects our communities, our country, and our world face for fear of offending someone or, goddess forbid, having a disagreement.

In addition to talking, we can actually do something ourselves.  We can take action, one person, one small gesture at a time.

In honor of the veterans, and at the same time in a nod to my husband, who is not from this country, I would like to share an example.

Carlos, my brother, my sister, and my brother-in-law, went to the 49ers game yesterday, and apparently, while Carlos was in line for beer, he was standing behind two marines.  When the marines got to the front of the line, Carlos paid for their beers.  Just like that, simple, because they fought for our country.

The only reason I know about this is because, in the process, he forgot to buy my brother the beer he promised him, and so Teno arrived home that night complaining about it.

I don't know if Carlos even realized that the next day was Veteran's Day.  Certainly no sign hung above their heads urging people to buy veteran's and/or soldiers beer, or donate to them in some way.

He just did it because he's Carlos.

So while I think that charity is important, and even that it is one way to support causes you believe in, I think that that charity, in whatever form that takes, should come from the heart, always, or else it is just another empty expression, like, "Support the Troops?"